I'm sorry to hear that. You must be very disappointed/frustrated/upset. It's harder to do than say, but beating yourself up over it isn't worth it. Maybe you can find a different teacher, someone you're more comfortable with, and built your confidence before trying again? My mom's told me she regrets having my dad teach me how to drive as she thinks that contributed to my self-esteem issues post-college. (My dad's a fantastic driver, but he's not a very patient teacher and I was a super nervous driver to begin with.)
I also didn't take my road test in the location closest to me as my mom had heard there were some tricky spots on it. If you can choose your location and drive the area many times, I think it would help. (Music is a great mood-lifter for me and now I never drive without a CD playing.)
When I first started driving, I would have such a terrible feeling in my gut and my anxiety would skyrocket when I started driving alone. I'd easily panic and think about how bad all the other drivers must think I am. Forcing myself to keep going out and getting more experience - and realsing that you can still make mistakes and you usually won't end up in an accident or dead on the side of the road - was the only way I could overcome it.
I failed again. BUT I actually didn’t do bad overall! I just had too many error points past the pass limit. I did much better than the first time as I was more confident, I just was too nervous and also stressed about it and other things. The examiner-Brian-was lovely and didn’t ruin my confidence like the last one. After the test I forgot to straighten the wheels (I had cut them to the right as I was parked) though and drove over a flower planter full of black-eyed Susans. I won’t get to take it again until at least October though due to booking.
My confidence has gotten a lot better. And a lot of my nerves come from being scrutinised, and also how important my getting my full driver's license is to getting a job and everything. The weight crushs on me and I do a small mistake and then that snowballs. I tend to catastrophise! But driving alone I do better. I am just so low & stressed anyways that this has me feeling like I'm lying when I'm telling myself things will be alright. It also didn't help this time that I didn't sleep well due to my TMD being exasperated by subconscious clenching of my jaw in my sleep due to the stress. My doctor gave me stronger anti-inflammatories & some painkillers Thursday, but I have had to suffer due to the alertness for driving practice and then my test. Your dad had surgery on his jaw, and I really should ask you to ask him more into that :/
Not sure if you are reading these or not, but I passed yesterday (I was originally booked to retake on November 6TH, but Discover Driving jad a cancellation so rebooked my test to that space)!
It is such a weight off! And it felt really surreal when I was paying for the graduated license; like it couldn't possibly be what I really was doing. I still owe the driving school $60 for that last extra lesson before my 2ND road test, and they won't give me my defensive driving certificate until I do. Meaning I can't get insurance until I get the certificate became it gives a discount with it.