melting---
I also put all of my GST refund onto a Visa giftcard and ordered some stuff off Amazon. I ordered the two Jake Hunter games (though according to Aksys themselves, one is only a snippet of the other that they edited into a stand-alone to see how the series would sell), "Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance -- Mark of Mastery Edition" [though honestly I'm not too excited for it since Riku annoys me, Sora annoys me, and it doesn't have Demyx who is my favourite KH character (along with Roxas)], and "Frampton-On-Severn: Portrait of a Victorian Village". The rest that is on the card will be going to TELUS on my RAZR's bill, and maybe to buy a bag of green grapes. I probably could have pre-ordered "Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Stand", but I'm still waiting to see if I can pre-order it from EB Games (it's not in their Canadian system), or if Amazon will update with the rumoured pre-order bonuses
ahnjehleehn mentioned. I want a Nonary Game bracelet wristwatch :/Really I'm more buying things to try to distract myself. But it's been hard to lately since all the recent crap, & the last removal & re-removal taking the last of the hope that I had left. And I haven't even been able to play "9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors" the last few days because of being tired & headachy. I'm in a room FILLED with stuff to examine & multiple puzzles, plus it's getting to be filled with plot (and the True Ending will be soon). So I'm just not capable of the concentration for it right now--Hopefully I will after this heat breaks. I think I might get the Axe Ending next since it also deals with vengeance, but I also have 4 (3 minus the one I am in) more rooms to unlock in Memories Of Escape, so I don't know yet (I haven't done Door 3 or Door 2 yet). But I'll see how I feel after I get the True Ending. Frankly the remaining 3 endings I can get (I can no longer get the Coffin Ending since I've gotten the Safe Ending) don't have enough Snake for me :/ Seriously, it has been aaaaaaggggesssss since I've been this fond of a character. Like I like all the 999 characters, but damn, Snake. He's like right up there with Kaido Kio...Well almost up there with Kio.
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I also in my hopelessness have been letting things go back to Twitter. Things like my GetGlue check-ins, Plurk, et cetera, et cetera--Because it really doesn't matter if they do or not. I even Followed someone new, & replied to a few tweets directly. And as usually happens when I've tweeted directly; my Followers (of course), and also my Following has gone down. For my Following to drop it means either: 1) An account I've been Following has been deactivated. 2) Twitter is messing-up. 3) I've been Blocked by more. Probably "oh shit that Lady_Noremon is back on here again *Block*" So I feel unwanted on there again as I did back in December [Well I felt unwanted everywhere (How many times could I try to blame technology failing before I took the hint?)]. Blocking to me either means that the person either doesn't consider me anything more than a disposable screen-name, or they hate me so damn much that they can't even bare me existing. Either way with just a click of a button; I no longer exist. ...Really it is horrifying how easy it is for me not to exist. Even someone I'd talked to for months stopped responding to my contact around June 12TH. I just don't know what to do.--But yeah, most everyone really doesn't care to hear/read that. Anyway am I such a horrible person that I need to not exist? That I need to be Blocked? That promises don't matter, or what?
It's so draining.
I've built myself up so many times before, but I don't think I have the capacity to go through all that. And someone replied to my Formspring, and like the comment on that drabble it doesn't matter if I reply to it (like saying about broken trust, feeling hated, or any of that to them).
But I'll stop venting for tonight & turn my fan on. *Big huge sigh*
