Tuesday after sneaking to the funeral home to sign Claude's*** guest book. I picked-up the bathouse my mother ordered from a friend of my high school tech' ed'/shop teacher. It is huge! And since I expected a regular sized one, I have no idea where to mount it now. I'll probably need to save & buy a post from a lumber place for it. This bat lodging has a nursery compartment & can house so, so many bats. Hopefully it will be used by the adorable little creatures.
In Wednesday's morning mail I received a pirate-y card & a Scotland keychain, a parcel I have yet to open yet, and "9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors"--I always love receiving postal mail. Then I dragged myself to get dressed & went on a cake hunting expedition. I traditionally get a Dairy Queen ice-cream cake, but I still have a piece from last year's in the freezer, so I wanted a chocolate marble cheesecake or a carrot cake (with nuts, spices, & not a ridiculous amount of icing) for a change. Well the person I've bought cakes from before is no longer baking, so I had quite a time finding a bakery that bakes cheesecakes between Annapolis Royal & Greenwood (a lot of places have from freezer ones). Finally I found Leo's Café, and ordered one there. Once I got back I just couldn't distract myself from the impending dread & crap, so I somehow managed to stuff my face with a Philly cheese steak panini, a can of perry, & a Fuji apple. Since it was all I had eaten that day, the perry landed me in the buzzed state where things don't greatly effect me as much/I was numbed to not give as much damn as normal. I laid down to watch "Coronation Street" but ended-up falling asleep until after midnight.
When I woke it was my birthday and I was too agitated to go back to sleep, so I tried watching television until hit by a bad urge to play 999. But I figured 999 would creep me out. Finally I decided to just stay-up all night, make tacos, & try 999. And if 999 got too freaky, I'd watch "The Prestige" or S02E03 of "Sherlock". I escaped from the starting 5 room, and eventually tried to sleep again around 5:00AM. Well I couldn't get settled & started sobbing so I got up again & sat in the kitchen drinking tea & playing 999 until June got up. I stopped just before The 9TH Man part as I knew from spoilers what was coming, and exhaustedly collapsed asleep back in bed.
I was awoken again at around 8AM by an adoptive sister fighting with June. I don't think it was about me, though I still felt really bad because she did her best to be hurtful & make her mother cry before she left again. So I just gave-up on sleep & stayed with June until my biological mother arrived to drive me to Leo's Café. The cake was fancier than I expected, and I learned that my cousin Barbie works there. When I got back I had a very hard time getting the cake into a container due to it softening in the heat and having 'help' from Lydia & Minnow. After having some I played 999 again until the 3, 7, or 8 door choice & then went to bed. I woke-up around 10PM and checked online; especially sheikxlink_fc for contest entries. I am saddened that there are none & I feel more idiotic too. I was really looking forward to it, especially zeffyface's entry as they are my favourite Shink author & they said they were entering. The Shink community is one of the very few remaining places I have any seeming value, so for the contest I organised to not have anyone bother to post in (they had a full month to post) well just seems to confirm things more. I'll wait until I wake-up to post asking what happened & extend the deadline (the 27TH sounds good as it's digital root is 9).
I went into my birthday the same way I played though the 'Penalty Behind Door 5' in 999. I had no hope it would turn-out differently, or anything I could do would change it. I didn't 'whore out' for birthday wishes or anything, but even if I did I knew that a lot of the people that I do care about wouldn't bother contacting me on it. And that a lot of people that I just went to school with & have nothing to do with now would post on my Facebook Wall/Timeline. I actually debated deactivating my FB account to prevent that wash of falseness(?); but I just couldn't be assed. But even people I care about that I thought had a good chance of contacting didn't. So yeah, on the day they are most likely to & don't, well yeah--I just mean it's more confirmations. But some close people did contact me, so there was some sincerity & brightening. It's just I knew the day would show again how most of my families/friends hate me or have decided I'm not worth existence. But at least I wasn't horrified this time, and don't have hope to lose anymore.
This whole week has been hard though. With Claude dying (and I never got to buy him those fish & chips), The Sprague's being back in Nova Scotia, & Fathers' Day.