Well I should be sound asleep as I have a hella long day ahead. But right now I dont know if I am more excited, or terrified. I have had this lingering "I am meaningless" feeling for the last few months that has got worst the last few weeks. I am having a lot of family problems. Most of my biological wants nothing to do with me after the courts settled uncle`s estate. And recently my great-uncle died and no-one contacted me even when he was sick--I found-out from the obituary in the newspaper. And with my adoptive family, two of my adoptive sisters have decided that after over 15 years that I am not family. So there was a fight about me attending a family reunion, & I did not have Thanksgiving dinner. And I havent done anything besides being myself to deserve it. Then a friend removed me from everything. Like yeah there was RP crap, but I still thought that we were friends. So I just keep seeming to have a confirmation of the "I am disposable, and easy to bullshit, because I am a messed-up worthless person".
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