Naïvety's Star (lady_noremon) wrote,
Naïvety's Star

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misunderstanding I guess

Matt thinks I hate him. I thought he hated me. I still fucking love him. Even though I believed that he had toyed with me. I felt betrayed and angry. The thursday before last, not counting this one. He told me he loved me, with every fiber of his being. I actually believed him. I couldn't wait for the next time I had him alone to try and put into words, how much I loved him. I had been thinking about what to tell him for a whole week. And then he was coming over. I was soooo happy. But I knew something was wrong. So I let him have his say. It broke my heart to hear him break up with me. I felt so used. I still do. He did it without any emotion, which was terrbile. I felt like he had used my feelings. Not my body. I will never feel like he used my body. If I had really not wanted something, couldn't I have just left? Got up and went out to the kitchen and hung out with June? Matt must have had some other reason for leaving me like that. I'm sorry Matt for taking so much time from from you that you could have spent with a prettier girl. I felt like that Matt had never loved me. I felt so stupid for believing him. Now I am about 92% sure that he loved me, atleast for awhile. But I think it would have been easier if he had atleast showed some sign of regret when he dumped me. He must hate me now for still haveing these strong love feelings for him. I have egnored him for the past few days. I though he never loved me. I don't think I could be his friend. Knowing how I feel. And thinking he hated me. I don't evn know why I'm posting this here for the world to see my crap.....

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