"I'm going in for the kill. I'm [not] doing it for a thrill. Oh, I'm hoping you'll understand, and not let go of my hand."
I haven't unlocked my last entry, and in general have been avoiding online. Pretty much I feel like any words I type or say just dissipate or are twisted around. Nothing I fear, am hurt by, or have ever done matters. Nothing feels safe/alright. And I really don't think I can handle it any more. I'll try to stick about until VLR comes out though.
Anyway; last night I kept listening to La Roux, Duran Duran, Adele, & finally finished "Death In Blackpool". I put my summer/spring clothes in a garbage bag, and put my autumn/winter clothes in my drawers. I gathered-up bedding that I no longer wanted or needed and put it into bags. I hung all my belts & dress clothes back up. Today I worked ore on my getting all of the treasure chests in Dream Drop Distance, and have tried not to vomit. I've been nauseous consistently fir awhile now, but today just has been terrible. I'm hoping that it settles for tomorrow as I have a lot of errands, and long car rides before my MRI. I got a call from Valley Regional today saying to show-up half an hour before my original time, to go directly to the room number, and to pick up a telephone that would be on the wall to register.--It was very cryptic like in a spy movie. I'm still going to see the front desk though, but I do know where the MRI room is. I don't know when the results will be available, or when I'll even learn them as I've not been going to physiotherapy. I don't feel as wanted there since Patrick left, I know I'm an excess patient, and on top of that infection I had I've been busy with Nick & Ciderfest. I can definitely feel/tell I've not been going, and with all this rain we've been having here I've been in pain again. I also know that if this leads to needing surgery, or another visit to a specialist, I'll be requesting someone else besides the orthopedic surgeon I already saw as I don't need anymore feeling like crap right now. I also have been failing at doing most of my daily excercises :/ I got out of it when I was sick, and now am just urgh over it.
Nicki is doing well though, if he would only eat his new diet. I am trying him with a specially ordered bag of a brand the veterinary office doesn't keep in stock because he has refused to eat the C/D kind, and only picked at the S/O one. He also isn't too interested in the 2 brands of soft cat food I've tried, but Nick doesn't care much for soft food anyway (except the smelly/cheap Meow Mix kind in plastic containers). Nicolas has always been a picky eater though, and refuses to eat 'people food' except for occasionally tuna & oddly cake icing. He had Feline Rhinotracheitis when he was a kitten though, and has nasal passage damage from it, so I think he might not have the best sense of smell. I've just got to keep trying him with urinary diet though, since if he doesn't eat it he likely will form crystals again, and he has lost about a pound so far. I'm worried about him, and I'm pissed that cats are so difficult.
In other pet news my Sea Monkeys were doing lovely, I had about 12 adults & lots of little ones. But last week I added water to the tank and the corpse of one of my 3 pregnant females floated up. Since then I've found 2 more corpses, but now I just see 5 Sea Monkeys in there (and a few baby specks), but even after aerating & adding water I've seen no more corpses. I'm worried about them as well.
And since my last entry is Private, I'll say that "The Mentalist" has started up again! I don't know how I feel about the new air day (It's been Thursdays since I started watching last year), but the premier was really good. My Sunday was pizza, perry, & Patrick Jane...though I didn't manage to sleep very well when I finally did go to beds. I've since watched all the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" I had on my DVD player flashdrive, so I need to copy the rest of Season 4 onto it. I never saw Season 4 before, and my favourite character left in an episode that made me feel heartbroken & sick...and I never saw it coming until said episode. I'll definitely have to copy more off to get me through Thanksgiving. I'm not welcome at dinner again this year, though I wasn't expecting to be after how my birthday went. I'm going to try to buy a package of thighs & breasts (less sexy than it sounds), cranberry jelly, StoveTop Dressing, and maybe some sweet potatoes though, as last year was spent here alone & sobbing into a VH Steamer.
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