Okay, I am making myself post for a change.
Things...have been...hectic and yet stagnate.
I had to call the ambulance for June again last month. She had been having pain in her leg for a week before, and had been to her doctor, but the pill she got weren't helping. And eventhough this is public, I will say that her son & husband were just being awful for having someone that couldn't get around, Wendy was away, and I was out a lot that week with errands during the day. Anyway, June woke me up at around 3am and I had to get all her medications and overnight bag ready, then call and ride in the ambulance for her. She said she was in worse pain than childbirth. It was scary, and a really, really long day. We got at the hospital around 5am, and didn't get hom until the afternoon. The worst part was that they couldn't give her anything for the pain, because of the tests they had to do. It hurt me so much that I could do nothing to help the pain. She got some other pills and they helped her to sleep, and the ones she is on now are helping some, but it is something that has to go away on it's own. I can't remember the name of it, but it is like 'verietus' or some-such. In any case, things have been busy since she can't drive as much and help around the house, so I've been helping do all I can.
I have been off Twitter since mid-February. I have been on sporatically, and Twitterfeed has been auto-updating my "RuneScape 2" Adventurers' Log, but it's just too upsetting to be on. If you may know I was talking to Rumpio a lot since the Autumn. We talked on Skype for hours and on Twitter everyday. I thought we were very good friends, and he even said I was like a companion ("Doctor Who" kind). I looked so forward to out daily talks, and #TwubQuiz with "Four To Doomsday" on Tuesdays. Well he disapeared for a week, and his last tweet "I feel I am spiralling..." or something like that had me, and Martin EXTREMELY worried. We feared he had hurt himself or something. I found he had removed me the day he went-off (I wasn't the only one, but it came out of nowhere) when I tried to send him a Direct Message to ask if he was okay. Well I tried sending e-mails, IMs, and all that, but he was M.I.A.. When he came-back to Twitter, I sent Mentions, and pretty much a public cry that I had been so worried about him and to ask why he was ignoring me, but he just paid me no time. I finally got sick of seeing him talking to my friends on it, and everyone else but me. So being on Twitter makes me feel insignificant and seeing his screenname makes me feel ill. I don't know why this is as it is. I tried tweeting today, but things got too upsetting, and I couldn't stay on. It is worst I think, because Twitter was like a safe sanctuary. The friends I talk/talked to on it were a closeknit group, and it was good. I was happy and it was helping me get back to talking to people. After last year's Incident I went into a very withdrawn state. I lost touch with even my best-friends. Twitter became an outlet. It was unjudgemental, and I felt I could voice anything. It was personal and yet public. I still try to stay in contact with the few Twitter peeps I have outside of it, and Martin DMs me daily, but until I get so I don't almost have a panic-attack, I will remain lurking/on Hiatus.
I want to also voice that I am an awful friend, and I just keep failing people still. I am too tired to put to words how guilty and like shit I feel for it. I just keep withdrawing more now, because I don't know how to talk.
I went to Wolfville with Jeremy on Thursday. It was a much needed daytrip. I wanted to go out around the 7th, because it is a day that still has a very upsetting phase to it. IT is something I still have yet to fully deal with, because dwelling on it does more harm than good. It was kinda like the confirmation of the bullshit from 2007. I really was worthless, discardabl, and only good to fill in time with because I am easy. So I went out with Jeremy so I would not get in one of those extremely dark moods. I had A LOT of fun! I like hanging-out with him, but we don't get too often because he works during the day, and since neither of us has our full drivers' license, we have to rely on the Kings' Transit buses. Their operating hours, and trip time mean that we can't hang-out when he is done work, because the time he gets off is the time me or him would have to leave to catch the bus to take us to catch the last bus home. So we try to do things on his time off. I had to get up at 6:30am in order to catch the 1st bus from Bridgetown and arrived in Wolfville arounf Noon. HE had gotten on at Greenwood, so the busride didn't seem as long as it usually does when I am alone, or it is Summer [SO HOT IN THE SUMMER D:].
The weather was SHIT. It was foggy and misty in the morning. That cleared, and it was sunny, then it started pouring, and then it was HAIL, and then freezing rain, and finally when we got on the bus it was sunny again. So we didn't walk around as much as we had planned. I had planned to take a lot of pictures of the town, but the coldness barred that. We first went to Paddy's Pub & Rosie's Restaurant, but it was closed to get ready for the lunch-hour. We went to The Odd Book, an used bookstore. It was nice, and we saw an HILARIOUS how-to book on "Swimming". It was from 1885, and had old-timey men in like Speedos in diagrams showing positions. There was pictures of this guy with a old-style mustache in a swimming harness, and just *GAH* if I had, had $15 extra dollars, I would have bought it. Instead I FINALLY got a physically copy of "The Vampire Lestat", and "The Ultimate Dracula" an anthology/collection of short vampire stories from 1991. I haven't started reading them yet-the reason I will get to in a few-but it looks wonderful~ :D While we were paying the shopkeeper showed us a book on how to relocate joints, and I saw one on "Electrocution for use in medicine and surgery". We also talked about the early days of ebay, when people would sell naming rights of their first-born, etc.
After the bookstore we went to Paddy's. Paddy's Pub is a well known style of Irish pub. They have locations in Kentville, Wolfville, and Halifax I think. Anyway I got a pint of their featured beer, which was some apricot brew, but I found it too yeasty for my tastes, so I drank it as fast as I could when my food arrived. I got goat cheese raviloli that came with garlic bread, and Jeremy got a dark beer and bangers & mash. I took a few pictures which I will try to remember to post in the morning. I have a few on Facebook & Twipic if you want to see though. Again, I didn't take many because of the weather. I don't think the meal was worth the price, but it was alright. We didn't bother getting dessert though because it was too highly priced.
After we went to Retro Runway (?) an used 'retro' clothing store. There was a cat outside waiting, all drenched, but skidded-off when we got close. It was one of the shopkeeper's, and her other cat-Stripey(?)-was inside, and mauled me all purring and followed us around. I saw some nice rings and a few cool clothes, but I only had a bit of money on me so we just browsed & mauled the cat. The outside!cat kept sneaking by the door and I tried a few times to get it to come inside, but it was too people!shy.
After we went to Tim Horton's for coffee and he showed me his amazing coin balancing trick. And then we went to The Bargain Shop and I bought a package of knock-off jaffa cakes, and a pretty 'puzzle for June. June reallt likes to do jigsaw puzzles. He bought a 15inche LCD television he had been saving for. They live in one of those trailers turned-into bungaloos liek my grandfather used to live in, and he doesn't have a lot of room. We got out of there with just enough time to catch the next bus. I got home around 6pm, and I was soaked and cold. I changed my clothes and went to bed after I got groceries for June and a jar of Robertsons' marmalade for myself. I like marmalade because I don't like a lo of sweet-sweet things, and it reminds me of my late-grandfather. I am picky with what kinds I eat though because a lot of companies make it too sweet. I LOVE Robertsons', but being an British brand, it is hard to find around my small area. [I teased Martin because 'Robertson' is his last name and I had a mental image of him in an apron making preserves].
Anyway when I got home, I went out-like-a-light. I woke-up just at the national anthems of the 1st Canucks vs. Kings' 'Playoff game. I hada fever and cold chills. I have been sick all weekend, and have mostly been listening to the Klein Big Finish Audio trilogy and watched the first series of "Being Human". Jeremy burnt me off the first 2 seasons and it had been on my list to watch for a long time, but I must say it is FANTASTIC. I am kinda sad Tovey is gay, because he is just gorgeous in it. I have a thing for dorky, kinda podgy guys. George is just XD "Who wants some of my chair?!" is my fav' line!~ :D
BUT is is FAR TOO LATE to be up for me, and thus I will have to try to remember to post about my garden and such in the morning.
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